Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
