She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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