You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
