Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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