he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have feelings that need drinking.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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