How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize