Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
