she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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