FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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