Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
