bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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