Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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