What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
