never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
