I think I am morally bankrupt
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
