at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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