We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
