tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
