Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
