It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
