girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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