I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
