Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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