3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
