before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
