I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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