i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
