worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
