Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
