He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
