That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
