Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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