Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize