wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
