There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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