So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
