is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
