she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This is classic penis vs brain.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
