people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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