Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize