when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He felt like a one man threesome
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
