i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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