I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
