ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
