At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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