is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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