i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
