Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
