Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
