I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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