The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
