i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
