Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize