I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
