I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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