im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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