i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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