One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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