it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
tell me about the eggs
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
